10:33 p.m. - 01/13/2018
Update cps jesse jessa clean
Ok i havent posted in a really long time i so need to vent. First of all my cps case is closed i got my girls back in june after they had been with my mom 260 days. Iworked my ass off to get my kids back. Dumbass got out of jail in feb 2017 and showed up at my second cps hearin he stoof there all smug and shit and demanded a dna test be done on jessa to prove she was his daug came back she was and then they sent him for a hair drug test and he failed even tho he had been locked up and had plenty of time to get clean. Then our court date in may i was suppose to get my kids back but it didnt happen til june a few days before jessas 4 th birthday. I got a order that says jesse cant be 1000 ft from my home. But he has broke it 3 times tgat i know of once aug 1 2017 one sept 12 2017 and just recently jan 8 2018. I dont really know why hw keeps coming over but he kbocks and ask can we talk? I shut the door and call the cops. I have to i dont trust him i forgave him to the best i think i have but i just have nothing for him anymore. Our last court date was nov 1 2017 and that was a 6 week extension i was so disgusted by his presence in court. He actully had me such a mess. He asked his lawyer to fight me for unsupervised visits. His stupid ass was out side the court room when they called our case in front of the judge his lawyer went looking for him but couldnt find him so the judge listened to his request with out jesse being there and when it was all over and i walked out the first door he was walking in to sit down haha he didn't even get the plesure of seeing me be a nervous wreck they escouted me out and it was over til our next date which was nov 1 2017. The day after he made cps stay in my life he cancelled all his future cps supervised visit so even to date his last visit with jessa was sept 13. We went to court nov 1 2017 where the judge deemed him abusive it was so order he is no longer allowed to visit jessa at all no supervised or unsupervised visits because of the domestic violence he put me thru. I am really having a hard time with that i hope she understands when she is older it was not what i wanted i wanted supervised. But let me remind myself he chose THIS this was something he did he got cps in my life my case worker laura told me he was asking her how could a case against the mother turn so quickly against such a loving father who did nothing wrong. Haha well f you jesse there is not a day that goes by i dont think about the hell he put me thru and how happy i am with out him. Sometimes i fo want to confront him but wat would i get from it nothing but lies he feels he did nothing wrong he geels like he is entitled but just because hes her father doesnt make him a good daddy well tofay i dtand her im like. 89 days from being clean 15 months i havent used meth in 15 months never in a million years did i think i would say that wow i am pretty proud of myself but im really struggling right now i miss how clean i use to keep my house when i was using and my kids just dont seem to get it now jessas only 4 she is to young to understand but i cant seem to be consistent. Enough to get her to understand to pick up after her self its driving me nuts and alyx she is 17 and shes like worse cuz she knows her dad kenny never stopped using either and he comes over tweeking and it stresses me out number 1 why cant these bitches kenny and jesse get it together why cant they help me raise these kids they helped me make kenny hasnt had a place to live in almost 2 yrs. Anyways jessa needs to go to bed its 1104 pm and im totally stressing on her haha this is so wow i literally reneber posting this avout alyx when she was 2 or 3 now its jessa i love my kids im tired. So heres my update
