8:39 p.m. - 03/22/2018
The letter page 1
So i havent started the letter yet but im pretty sure im going to start it something like this:jesse, on feb 20 2018- you broke the order yet again by placing a note on my door. Please stop reading and look around for just a second and remember where you are as you continue to read this letter. Well first off i ahould let you know i had no intentions in contacting you. But when i found out that just 10 days later you were in jail i decided to tell you what i already knew you will not change you can not change you have no plans to change you are incapable of change you dont want to change you dont think you need to change. I knew from the moment i met you something was wrong. I am so much wiser today because of you. Never had i gone thtough what you put me thru. You were abusive controlling manipulative your were a lier a thief and a user. You were so busy trying to destroy me and i protected you and defended you while your sick mind was trying to break me. I am none of thrm things ypu said i was. I was not a burnt bitch or a nasty cunt. I wasnt ugly inside or even outside. I was not the person you said i was and you knew what you were doing was wrong and hurtful but you couldnt stop. I found out so much about your past history when you did what you did. You set me up and you damn well know you did. And then you went around lieing about what had happened, how funny when the truth came out. To this day i have no idea what your intentions were when you placed that black bag under my mattress and ran off and called 911. But im sure you never thought i would rise up from that stunt. And you can deny it and say it didn't happen but all know. I wish you had showed up in court the last time to hear all that was said. But you didnt like my lawyer said you were a coward. Let me tell you how it felt to tell the judge of all the things i went thru with you. You know i had started taking pixs of all the bruises at some point i only wish i had documented every thing from the first slap when i was pregnant with jessa. To every time in the motel when you would punch me hit me kick me hit me with the belt over and over and drag me around by my hair with jessa in my arms. But i wrote about it. I wrote about how awful it was living with someone who memtally verbally emotionlly and physically abused me. I even wrote one day that i guess i was meant to be his punching bag and how i feared jessa would grow up thinkimg it was ok to be hit by a man. I never thanked you for getting the ball rolling like you did. I mean if it jadnt been for you "setting me up" i would of never broke free i would of lived a shit life as you wanted. Did you ever think in a million years that a judge would put a permanent injuction on you between you and jessa? Did you think that the truth would not come out. Did you think you could lie and deceive cps did you think you would get over on them. Why didnt you show up in court that last time so you could hear cps tell the judge how you tested positive for meth. At least 3 times. How could you not show up to hear the judge put a no access order in place. You thought ugly fat dumb burnt bitch D wasn't going to fight for my kids? You think i would ever choose dope or YOU over my kids? Im nothing like you. I dont walk away from my children i dont put myself first like you said jesse comes first before jessa when she was 3 weeks old you would always say you come first and you lived up to that you never put jessa or any of your kids first for that matter. Doing dope was always your priority. Look at you living for jesse doing jesse being jesse. I dont care how long your in jail dont care if you go to prison i will tell jessa everything and i have pixs texts court orders past history arrest records of you i was not the only one you hit. You didnt hit me because i deserved it you didnt hit me because i was ugly you hit women because your a bitch i should have walked away went you went to jail for hitting cc i should of walked away. I re read all rhe letters you wrote me when you were locked up and jessa was 4 months old you made the same promises then that you did in the note you put on my door. You begged me in them letters to call and act like cc to get the charges dropped you said when you got out you would step up and be the best dad and boyfriend so sad i never called the cops on you and had you arrested for dometic violence you never kept not one promise you made to me and or jessa what a piece of shit. Not for what you did to me but for what you did to our baby girl.
